Washington Cremation As I learned firsthand when I was widowed, little else can dislodge you from the world you know like the loss of your spouse. Whether death was sudden or came after a long illness, those of us who lose a spouse to death move quickly in the minds of others from the category of “married” to “widowed.” But a change of label doesn’t begin to compare to the challenge of restructuring your life following such an enormous change. I hope that some of the words that can serve as a helpful “letter” from an understanding supporter. Working Your Way Through It is important to remember in working with your grief that no one’s story of loss and grief is the same as the next person’s. There will be some similarities, but each relationship with a spouse is different, and each person’s history with loss is unique to them. In a sense, you are blazing new trail for yourself. Being a widow is not something we choose. It is something, however, that can be a defining moment for who we will become. The people around you will react in different ways. Many friends and acquaintances will call. Some you may find helpful, others difficult to listen to. Some may have useful suggestions for how you should take care of yourself and deal with your grief. Some are at a loss, knowing there is little they can say or do to remove the pain, shock, anger and sadness you may be experiencing. Others may want to call and be with you, but are too uncomfortable to do so. Some of your friends may even be afraid deep down that if you have lost your spouse perhaps they too could be in your shoes all too soon. This is a time of patience with yourself and others. That may be a difficult assignment for you at a time when you have little energy or patience to spare from your grieving. Here are some things to consider during this period of change and transition that may help. You Will Need to Renegotiate Everything This idea came to me when I realized that whatever my life was before, whatever my routines were, who my friends were, whatever I thought was “fun”-it all would need to be examined and experienced in a new way-as a person on my own. Even though I was doing the same things as before, such as grocery shopping, everything was different: I was now only shopping for one. In fact, when I tried to go to the store where my husband and I had shopped together, I found that it was too difficult. I had to change to a different supermarket in order to better care for myself. Remember that some friends, particularly couples, may feel awkward being with you alone, without your spouse at your side. You will eventually decide, as will these couples, if your relationship can sustain the loss of your spouse. The more you can remember that everything is different and that you will need to reshape your relationships, the easier it will be emotionally, physically and spiritually to move forward. You will feel vulnerable in this process of change. That is an important reality to accept. You are vulnerable and if you can own this feeling and care of yourself accordingly, you will be taking a big step in the right direction. Realize Grief Has a Was Recurring Grief will come and go. It will deplete and at times exhaust your sources of energy, so make allowances for that. Lower some expectations on what you can accomplish in a day. Pay attention to how grief presents itself. If you feel like crying, for example, give yourself the time and space to cry. Your tears are a valuable reflection of the importance of a relationship that has been forever changed. If you can accept the grief as it presents itself, it is less likely to affect you in a negative way. “One step at a time, one day at a time, it all became better by accepting, receiving and moving forward.” People find different sources of support that work for them. For some, that will mean going to a grief support group, ideally one specifically for people who have lost their spouses. For others, it will mean spending more time with their family, or time alone to journal what is running through their minds. You may find that being with particular people or couples is soothing. Perhaps a mix of all of the above is what will work best for you. Allow yourself to be as you are in the moment, and spend time with those who allow you to do so without question or judgment. Some people may be uncomfortable with who you need to be to grieve. Be aware of your personal needs and resources each day and thoughtfully choose whom to spend time with each day. Be Open to Support Being a nurse, I am usually the one in the role of assisting others. When my husband died, I learned over time the value of being supported. One of the biggest stressors for me following the death of my husband was t hat I could not pray. What a time to have difficulty with prayer! It did not take me long to figure out t hat if I went to church each morning, I was in the midst of those who were praying-therefore, so was I. I would sit in the back of church and cry. Most everyone there understood. Some would cry with me, and others would stop by and offer a hug. Some would offer to go with me for a bite to eat or a cup of coffee. My closest friends from grade school, without my realizing it, took turns every week calling me to see how I was doing. They connected with each other to compare notes and see what they thought would be best for me, and then would come back to me with invitations to lunch, visits or reminiscing. My friends from college would also regularly check in and sometimes suggest a visit to a spa or lunch as a means of connecting. Most of the time, I was able to receive this support with a sense of gratitude. It offered me ways to connect with others that I may not have needed or desired in the past. Now these connections were most important to feeling a part of a larger network of people who cared. Encourage Yourself to Move From a Place of Grieving Soon after losing my husband, there were times when I was immobilized by grief. With little energy to spare and a dulled sense of self awareness, as well as what appeared to be decreased options, all I could manage sometimes was just to sit or slowly make my way around the house aimlessly. At those times, it took an effort to make the simplest plan and carry it out. Each time I was successful with the most basic of plans, however, it encouraged me to continue and address some other area of need in my daily life. I learned I had to give myself time to make the simplest of decisions. Grief would often express itself, but slowly and surely I allowed myself to feel the grief and deal with it, yet continue to move forward and not be immobilized. One step at a time, one day at a time, it all became better by accepting , receiving and moving through it. Take Heart If I can leave you with one final thought in my “letter,” dear reader, it is this: Gratitude is a very important feeling to work into your daily life. Be grateful for all you have received and experienced in your life. Also be grateful for all the possibilities the future holds for you. (if you have difficulty in identifying those possibilities, perhaps that’s where you can all on trusted others to assist you in the process.) Thank God every day for the time you had with your spouse and the wonderful memories you will always have. Focus each day on the smallest thanksgiving. Each day will then become an opportunity for a new beginning to all that you now will become! If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.
We have provided important accurate information needed by the consumer in order to make informed decisions. Whether you utilize our site for the free online grief support or your loved one was a veteran and benefit information is needed or you just have questions about Maryland Cremation Options process and our many options, let us offer our helping hand.
Washington Cremation “I will never forget the fear I felt as I sat in the doctor’s office with my wife on the cold and snowy day last winter,” Rick told me. “His words to us, even though they were spoken gently and very compassionately, numbed me to the bone and engulfed me with a chilling disbelief.” “Mary,” he said “you are filled with cancer, and there is nothing more we can do. I’m afraid it’s terminal.” Looking back now, Rick realizes that fear and denial were the first emotions to surface when he learned his wife was terminally ill. He also knows now that he went through many different emotions during the year his wife was dying. He sought professional and family support for himself and his wife that helped them walk their difficult journey together. Working Your Way Through Here are some of the things that helped Rick cope with the dying process his wife was going through. As he learned from these things, he helped enable Mary not only to understand and accept her coming death, but ultimately to come to peace with it. Realize That You Will Grieve Before the Death Occurs As soon as you become aware that your loved one is terminally ill, you begin the emotional side of the grieving process. You may find yourself, as Rick did, totally denying the fact that a death will soon occur. “How could this happen?” you may ask yourself. “My loved one never showed any signs of being sick. She’s always been so healthy,” You may find yourself weaving back and forth between denying the approach of death and accepting it. Without realizing it, you have begun the mourning process. This process is called “anticipatory grief.” It is a state in which you begin to acknowledge that a death will occur (especially as you see the person decline), and you begin to mourn the fact that soon you will lose them. It is perfectly normal and can help you prepare for the death. Try to accept the fact that you have begun to mourn the fact that soon you will lose them. It is perfectly normal and can help you prepare for the death. Try to accept the fact that you have begun the grieving process but can still spend quality time with your loved one, taking care of the unfinished expressions of love, disappointments, and care and concern that might have been put off for the future. Take the time now to begin to ask yourself some very important questions: “How am I going to be able to be present to my loved one and at the same time realized I have begun grieving his coming death? “What can I do for myself spiritually, emotionally and physically in order to have the strength to cope with losing her?” “Where can I turn for support in order to sustain myself and my loved one during this difficult time?” Know That You Will Be In Pain You will experience many different feelings as you struggle with the thought of your loved one dying. Rick immediately felt fear as well as disbelief. You may be going through the same feelings, as well as being angry or sad, guilty or numb, all at the same time. These feelings may occur over and over again. This process is natural; when the time comes, it will help you heal. As you struggle through the pain of your various emotions, acknowledge what you are feeling, “Talking about things with a close friend can help. Writing down or journaling what is happening to you emotionally can be a powerful tool. But no matter how you cope with the impact your loved one’s approaching death has on you, remember that a wide range of emotions is perfectly normal and to be expected. “being present with your loved one as he or she struggles to accept the reality of terminal illness has been the beginning of your journey of grief.” Understand You Will Have to Make Adjustments Your life changes with the knowledge that your loved one is terminally ill. You realize that they will not be with you much longer, and yet you also realize they still have a life to live until the death occurs. You find yourself feeling anxious about the practical things that need to be taken care of now, and perhaps also about those that will have to be faced after the death. “How am I going to go to work and yet be present during this dying process?” “Should I tell the children now or wait?” “How will I manage without him?” “Will I be alone after her death?” Try to concentrate on the present moment as much as possible. Your loved one is still with you; focus on helping them live their life to the fullest. Reassure the person who is dying, whether a child or adult, your spouse or your parent, a sibling or a friend, that you are there, and will be there, for them. Learn from your loved one’s health care provider as much as you can about the disease so that you can be prepared for what happens both emotionally and physically as the illness progresses. Talk about the information you have, if your loved one asks. Ask you loved one how you can be helpful and attentive to them. Be at peach knowing that doing “the best you can” is all you can do. Take the time you have together to try to put to rest any “unfinished business.” While these issues might include unresolved legal or medical matters, more importantly this is a time to express love and appreciation, disappointments and the need to reconcile any differences. How many times after a person dies do we wish we had told them we loved them? Now is the time to do so! Now is the time to ask for forgiveness for them. Now is the time to for you and your loved one to share and gather the cherished memories you have of your time together, so that these memories may be imbedded deeply in your hearts. Focus On Yourself, As Well As Your Loved One, and Seek Spiritual Support As Mary began to weaken and need more rest, Rick decided that he needed to spend all his time taking care of her. He was good at it. But it soon began to take its toll on him. And he found himself feeling over whelmed. If you are, like Rick, in the position of being the primary caregiver for your dying loved one, understand that to do your best in that role, you need to be nourished physically, emotionally and spiritually. You need to eat and sleep well in order to have the strength to be present to your loved one and have the energy “to give.” A fair amount of exercise and the company of friends and family are necessary if you are to face the difficulties of each day. It’s important that you find someone you can talk to as you begin to grieve your loved one’s upcoming death. You do not need to, and should not, face this loss by yourself. Your local hospice can be enormous help. Talk over the possibilities with these compassionate, trained professionals. This is also a time when you can share your burden with God. How many questions about sickness and death you must have! How many questions your loved one must have also. Putting them into words and praying about them together can be a source of strength and peace for both of you. If you attend a faith community regularly, talk with a pastoral or grief minister on staff. They have had many experiences with the terminally ill and can be a listening ear for you. Ask them to visit your loved one. They can bring with them a spiritual presence that is helpful to the dying. And if you haven’t been involved in a faith community for awhile, now could be a very good time to take another look. Take Heart Your journey of grief begins with your being present to your loved one as she or he struggles to accept the reality of terminal illness. You accompany your loved one and are an intimate part of their final journey here on earth-what a wonderful privilege for you and a profound blessing for them. The moments you have shard and the memories you have stored will help prepare you for the grieving you have already begun and will continue to do. Cherish those memories and recall them often. Don’t keep them to yourself; let others know your loved one through sharing your memories. Allow those memories to help you not only survive the death of your loved one, but begin the healing process and grow as a compassionate human being. If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.
Cremation Options is proud to be a family owned and operated company dedicated to providing dignified cremation services at an affordable price. Established in 2002; we are a non-denominational firm providing a variety of Washington Cremation Click Here, merchandise, and services to families of all ages, creeds, and ethnic backgrounds.
Washington Cremation As I learned firsthand when I was widowed, little else can dislodge you from the world you know like the loss of your spouse. Whether death was sudden or came after a long illness, those of us who lose a spouse to death move quickly in the minds of others from the category of “married” to “widowed.” But a change of label doesn’t begin to compare to the challenge of restructuring your life following such an enormous change. I hope that some of the words that can serve as a helpful “letter” from an understanding supporter. Working Your Way Through It is important to remember in working with your grief that no one’s story of loss and grief is the same as the next person’s. There will be some similarities, but each relationship with a spouse is different, and each person’s history with loss is unique to them. In a sense, you are blazing new trail for yourself. Being a widow is not something we choose. It is something, however, that can be a defining moment for who we will become. The people around you will react in different ways. Many friends and acquaintances will call. Some you may find helpful, others difficult to listen to. Some may have useful suggestions for how you should take care of yourself and deal with your grief. Some are at a loss, knowing there is little they can say or do to remove the pain, shock, anger and sadness you may be experiencing. Others may want to call and be with you, but are too uncomfortable to do so. Some of your friends may even be afraid deep down that if you have lost your spouse perhaps they too could be in your shoes all too soon. This is a time of patience with yourself and others. That may be a difficult assignment for you at a time when you have little energy or patience to spare from your grieving. Here are some things to consider during this period of change and transition that may help. You Will Need to Renegotiate Everything This idea came to me when I realized that whatever my life was before, whatever my routines were, who my friends were, whatever I thought was “fun”-it all would need to be examined and experienced in a new way-as a person on my own. Even though I was doing the same things as before, such as grocery shopping, everything was different: I was now only shopping for one. In fact, when I tried to go to the store where my husband and I had shopped together, I found that it was too difficult. I had to change to a different supermarket in order to better care for myself. Remember that some friends, particularly couples, may feel awkward being with you alone, without your spouse at your side. You will eventually decide, as will these couples, if your relationship can sustain the loss of your spouse. The more you can remember that everything is different and that you will need to reshape your relationships, the easier it will be emotionally, physically and spiritually to move forward. You will feel vulnerable in this process of change. That is an important reality to accept. You are vulnerable and if you can own this feeling and care of yourself accordingly, you will be taking a big step in the right direction. Realize Grief Has a Was Recurring Grief will come and go. It will deplete and at times exhaust your sources of energy, so make allowances for that. Lower some expectations on what you can accomplish in a day. Pay attention to how grief presents itself. If you feel like crying, for example, give yourself the time and space to cry. Your tears are a valuable reflection of the importance of a relationship that has been forever changed. If you can accept the grief as it presents itself, it is less likely to affect you in a negative way. “One step at a time, one day at a time, it all became better by accepting, receiving and moving forward.” People find different sources of support that work for them. For some, that will mean going to a grief support group, ideally one specifically for people who have lost their spouses. For others, it will mean spending more time with their family, or time alone to journal what is running through their minds. You may find that being with particular people or couples is soothing. Perhaps a mix of all of the above is what will work best for you. Allow yourself to be as you are in the moment, and spend time with those who allow you to do so without question or judgment. Some people may be uncomfortable with who you need to be to grieve. Be aware of your personal needs and resources each day and thoughtfully choose whom to spend time with each day. Be Open to Support Being a nurse, I am usually the one in the role of assisting others. When my husband died, I learned over time the value of being supported. One of the biggest stressors for me following the death of my husband was t hat I could not pray. What a time to have difficulty with prayer! It did not take me long to figure out t hat if I went to church each morning, I was in the midst of those who were praying-therefore, so was I. I would sit in the back of church and cry. Most everyone there understood. Some would cry with me, and others would stop by and offer a hug. Some would offer to go with me for a bite to eat or a cup of coffee. My closest friends from grade school, without my realizing it, took turns every week calling me to see how I was doing. They connected with each other to compare notes and see what they thought would be best for me, and then would come back to me with invitations to lunch, visits or reminiscing. My friends from college would also regularly check in and sometimes suggest a visit to a spa or lunch as a means of connecting. Most of the time, I was able to receive this support with a sense of gratitude. It offered me ways to connect with others that I may not have needed or desired in the past. Now these connections were most important to feeling a part of a larger network of people who cared. Encourage Yourself to Move From a Place of Grieving Soon after losing my husband, there were times when I was immobilized by grief. With little energy to spare and a dulled sense of self awareness, as well as what appeared to be decreased options, all I could manage sometimes was just to sit or slowly make my way around the house aimlessly. At those times, it took an effort to make the simplest plan and carry it out. Each time I was successful with the most basic of plans, however, it encouraged me to continue and address some other area of need in my daily life. I learned I had to give myself time to make the simplest of decisions. Grief would often express itself, but slowly and surely I allowed myself to feel the grief and deal with it, yet continue to move forward and not be immobilized. One step at a time, one day at a time, it all became better by accepting , receiving and moving through it. Take Heart If I can leave you with one final thought in my “letter,” dear reader, it is this: Gratitude is a very important feeling to work into your daily life. Be grateful for all you have received and experienced in your life. Also be grateful for all the possibilities the future holds for you. (if you have difficulty in identifying those possibilities, perhaps that’s where you can all on trusted others to assist you in the process.) Thank God every day for the time you had with your spouse and the wonderful memories you will always have. Focus each day on the smallest thanksgiving. Each day will then become an opportunity for a new beginning to all that you now will become! If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.
Cremation Options is proud to be a family owned and operated company dedicated to providing dignified cremation services at an affordable price. Established in 2002; we are a non-denominational firm providing a variety of Maryland Cremation Options, merchandise, and services to families of all ages, creeds, and ethnic backgrounds.
Washington Cremation “I will never forget the fear I felt as I sat in the doctor’s office with my wife on the cold and snowy day last winter,” Rick told me. “His words to us, even though they were spoken gently and very compassionately, numbed me to the bone and engulfed me with a chilling disbelief.” “Mary,” he said “you are filled with cancer, and there is nothing more we can do. I’m afraid it’s terminal.” Looking back now, Rick realizes that fear and denial were the first emotions to surface when he learned his wife was terminally ill. He also knows now that he went through many different emotions during the year his wife was dying. He sought professional and family support for himself and his wife that helped them walk their difficult journey together. Working Your Way Through Here are some of the things that helped Rick cope with the dying process his wife was going through. As he learned from these things, he helped enable Mary not only to understand and accept her coming death, but ultimately to come to peace with it. Realize That You Will Grieve Before the Death Occurs As soon as you become aware that your loved one is terminally ill, you begin the emotional side of the grieving process. You may find yourself, as Rick did, totally denying the fact that a death will soon occur. “How could this happen?” you may ask yourself. “My loved one never showed any signs of being sick. She’s always been so healthy,” You may find yourself weaving back and forth between denying the approach of death and accepting it. Without realizing it, you have begun the mourning process. This process is called “anticipatory grief.” It is a state in which you begin to acknowledge that a death will occur (especially as you see the person decline), and you begin to mourn the fact that soon you will lose them. It is perfectly normal and can help you prepare for the death. Try to accept the fact that you have begun to mourn the fact that soon you will lose them. It is perfectly normal and can help you prepare for the death. Try to accept the fact that you have begun the grieving process but can still spend quality time with your loved one, taking care of the unfinished expressions of love, disappointments, and care and concern that might have been put off for the future. Take the time now to begin to ask yourself some very important questions: “How am I going to be able to be present to my loved one and at the same time realized I have begun grieving his coming death? “What can I do for myself spiritually, emotionally and physically in order to have the strength to cope with losing her?” “Where can I turn for support in order to sustain myself and my loved one during this difficult time?” Know That You Will Be In Pain You will experience many different feelings as you struggle with the thought of your loved one dying. Rick immediately felt fear as well as disbelief. You may be going through the same feelings, as well as being angry or sad, guilty or numb, all at the same time. These feelings may occur over and over again. This process is natural; when the time comes, it will help you heal. As you struggle through the pain of your various emotions, acknowledge what you are feeling, “Talking about things with a close friend can help. Writing down or journaling what is happening to you emotionally can be a powerful tool. But no matter how you cope with the impact your loved one’s approaching death has on you, remember that a wide range of emotions is perfectly normal and to be expected. “being present with your loved one as he or she struggles to accept the reality of terminal illness has been the beginning of your journey of grief.” Understand You Will Have to Make Adjustments Your life changes with the knowledge that your loved one is terminally ill. You realize that they will not be with you much longer, and yet you also realize they still have a life to live until the death occurs. You find yourself feeling anxious about the practical things that need to be taken care of now, and perhaps also about those that will have to be faced after the death. “How am I going to go to work and yet be present during this dying process?” “Should I tell the children now or wait?” “How will I manage without him?” “Will I be alone after her death?” Try to concentrate on the present moment as much as possible. Your loved one is still with you; focus on helping them live their life to the fullest. Reassure the person who is dying, whether a child or adult, your spouse or your parent, a sibling or a friend, that you are there, and will be there, for them. Learn from your loved one’s health care provider as much as you can about the disease so that you can be prepared for what happens both emotionally and physically as the illness progresses. Talk about the information you have, if your loved one asks. Ask you loved one how you can be helpful and attentive to them. Be at peach knowing that doing “the best you can” is all you can do. Take the time you have together to try to put to rest any “unfinished business.” While these issues might include unresolved legal or medical matters, more importantly this is a time to express love and appreciation, disappointments and the need to reconcile any differences. How many times after a person dies do we wish we had told them we loved them? Now is the time to do so! Now is the time to ask for forgiveness for them. Now is the time to for you and your loved one to share and gather the cherished memories you have of your time together, so that these memories may be imbedded deeply in your hearts. Focus On Yourself, As Well As Your Loved One, and Seek Spiritual Support As Mary began to weaken and need more rest, Rick decided that he needed to spend all his time taking care of her. He was good at it. But it soon began to take its toll on him. And he found himself feeling over whelmed. If you are, like Rick, in the position of being the primary caregiver for your dying loved one, understand that to do your best in that role, you need to be nourished physically, emotionally and spiritually. You need to eat and sleep well in order to have the strength to be present to your loved one and have the energy “to give.” A fair amount of exercise and the company of friends and family are necessary if you are to face the difficulties of each day. It’s important that you find someone you can talk to as you begin to grieve your loved one’s upcoming death. You do not need to, and should not, face this loss by yourself. Your local hospice can be enormous help. Talk over the possibilities with these compassionate, trained professionals. This is also a time when you can share your burden with God. How many questions about sickness and death you must have! How many questions your loved one must have also. Putting them into words and praying about them together can be a source of strength and peace for both of you. If you attend a faith community regularly, talk with a pastoral or grief minister on staff. They have had many experiences with the terminally ill and can be a listening ear for you. Ask them to visit your loved one. They can bring with them a spiritual presence that is helpful to the dying. And if you haven’t been involved in a faith community for awhile, now could be a very good time to take another look. Take Heart Your journey of grief begins with your being present to your loved one as she or he struggles to accept the reality of terminal illness. You accompany your loved one and are an intimate part of their final journey here on earth-what a wonderful privilege for you and a profound blessing for them. The moments you have shard and the memories you have stored will help prepare you for the grieving you have already begun and will continue to do. Cherish those memories and recall them often. Don’t keep them to yourself; let others know your loved one through sharing your memories. Allow those memories to help you not only survive the death of your loved one, but begin the healing process and grow as a compassionate human being. If you or a family member have any further questions or concerns with respect to cremation, cremation services, cremation costs or a direct cremation please feel free to contact Cremation Options toll free 24 hours daily at 1-877-989-9090.
We have provided important accurate information needed by the consumer in order to make informed decisions. Whether you utilize our site for the free online grief support or your loved one was a veteran and benefit information is needed or you just have questions about Washington Cremation Click Here process and our many options, let us offer our helping hand.